It is so hard to see a beloved friend go

Animals and their love stay in our souls, once we've let them in. And we are better for it, more complete, more whole, more compassionate, and often transformed. Loving this much, we also know the searing pain of losing them.

My thought is that one fine day we shall see them again, and that my dear, Kylie, just went on ahead.

Two wonderful friends sent me flowers last week. It was so unexpected to see them on my front porch and really made me smile. I was overwhelmed and so thankful for their thoughtfulness.

Over the weekend I got a call from the vet with the autopsy results and thankfully it revealed something that was a complication from the colic surgery and not something that they could have fixed in a second surgery. It actually did bring some piece of mind that truly there was nothing else that could have been done for her. I felt that the vet was sincere, when he expressed how bad he felt that he was not able to save her.

It is hard to go to the barn and see her empty stall, but I am thankful I have her daughter, Mazzy to bring me happiness and help fill the void Kylie has left.

After a week off of riding due to rain, I had three great rides in a row with Mazzy on Saturday, Sunday and yesterday. She is on the upswing right now and feeling better, stronger, and much easier every time I ride her.

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In Loving Memory

They say some horses leave hoofprints on our hearts, I, however say only a few are actually capable of sailing away with them.

The pain and loss I feel right now feels unbearable. The only comfort I have is knowing she is in a better place.

Somewhere, somehow in time's own space

There must be some sweet pastured place

Where streams sing on and tall trees grow

A Paradise where horses go

With all my love to you I send

I know Great Horses live again

Kylie came to me wrapped in what dreams are made of. Her beautiful soul made my world a better place.

Thank you, Kylie, for being the horse of my dreams, I miss you more than words can say. Forever and always in my heart, my love; until we meet again.

The Rainbow Bridge For Horses
Author Unknown


By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
when their time on earth is over and done.


For here, between this world and the next,
is a place where beloved creatures find rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
til The Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.


No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
for here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed.
Their bodies have healed with strength imbued.


They trot through the grass without even a care,
til one day they whinny and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes sharp and alert.
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the herd.


For just at that second, there's no room for remorse.
As they see each other...one person...one horse.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past
The time of their parting is over at last.


The sadness they felt while they were apart
has turned to joy once more in each heart.
They nuzzle with a love that will last forever.
And then, side-by-side, they cross over...together.

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A better day

When I went today to see Kylie, she was definetly more herself. And she was HUNGRY. I welcomed the spoiled behavior of pawing for treats or attention when normally it drives me crazy. She is back on the IV drip of Lidocain for pain, which is a step back, but I am happy it is keeping her comfortable.

I took her for a walk and was so happy and content to just be with her. I wish I wasn't so emotionally attached so that I could make clearer decisions, but after being in a relationship for 11 years, there is an attachment that clouds everything. I want what is best for her not just today, but for her future. She deserves a great quality of life, and I am trying to take that into account when making all of these difficult decisions.

I had a long talk with the vet today (it seems like he is there 24 hours a day, seven days a week!) and is happy with how Kylie looks today, so he has backed off the pressure of giving her a second surgery. Thankfully! I learned some interesting things about ulcers and treatment that I did not know before. Kylie developed ulcers that she did not have when she first came in from all of the acid in her stomach. Hers are caused from fasting and all the medication. Horses evolved to graze, eating many small meals frequently. This way, the stomach is rarely empty and the stomach acid has less of a damaging effect. If horses do not eat frequently, the acid builds up and ulcers are more likely to develop. Research has found that an average horse can produce up to 16 gallons of acidic fluid every 24 hours. Thety started her on Zantec (ranitidine) on Friday, but it takes 24 to 48 hours to take effect. This is one possibility for her discomfort on Friday,

It's been well-documented that over 90% of race horses and over 60% of performance horses (hunter/jumpers, dressage, endurance and western) have ulcers. Even small changes in the routine of a recreational horse can cause ulcers in as little as five days. The signs of ulcers in horses include poor performance (often mistaken for musculoskeletal or back pain), behavioral issues (poor attitude, resistance, girthiness), colic and loss of weight or condition.

The part I did not know was associated with the treatment of ulcers. I have had Kylie on ranitidine in the past due to a heavy show schedule and to prevent ulcers, but this vet told me that unless I administer it every 8 hours it does no good. I have also used GastroGard and given just one tube, which I have done during a show, and come to find out one dose does nothing . Good to know because it is expensive! GastroGard or UlcerGard (Omeprazole), requires three to five days to reach a steady level in the body; after the first dose, there is only 25% inhibition of the parietal cells (large oval cells of the gastric mucous membrane) that secrete gastric acid. So, for it to do any good, you have to start at least two to three days prior to stressful situations. Alternatively, you can use an H2 blocker, such as ranitidine, which inhibits parietal cells with the first dose, but this medication must be given three times per day for continued effect.

So basically to treat ulcers you can use ranitidine, which is much more cost effective, but must be given every eight hours for it to work OR GastroGard can be given only once a day for 30 days. Research showed that once treatment stopped, the ulcers came right back. That means you have to do more than just treat the existing ulcers, you have to create an environment in the stomach that makes it hard for ulcers to form. For the prevention of recurrence of gastric ulcers, continue treatment for a least an additional 4 weeks by administrating at the recommended daily maintenance dose.

Here are some diet and management tips to reduce the risk of ulcers in your horse:

■Provide pasture turnout--this is the best method of preventing ulcers!
■Provide constant access to hay—keeping hay in front of your horse is next best
■Provide hay frequently—if free-choice hay is not an option, feeding it four to six times a day is an acceptable substitute
■Use alfalfa hay—the protein and calcium in hay help reduce stomach acid
■Limit fasting periods—keeping food in the stomach at all times protects it from acid which causes ulcers
■Limit grain feeding—sweet feeds especially lead to heavy acid production
■Provide “down time”—heavy exercise is a risk factor for ulcers so include less intense work days and even rest days in your training and showing plan
■Reduce stress—allow social interaction with other horses and keep the feed, turnout, and exercise schedule as regular as possible
■Limit NSAIDS—anti-inflammatories like phenylbutazone have been linked to ulcers, so give the smallest amount necessary for the shortest time possible.

And she got some alfalfa leaves today! She was so happy!

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A step back

What a gloomy Saturday. Kylie has had a rough weekend so far. She doesn't feel well and they aren't sure why. So she is back off of all food and back on all the pain meds. So frustrating. I hope this is just a bump in the road. I spent a few hours with her Friday night. I took her for a walk when I got there and she seemed ok, but as soon as she got back to her stall she layed down and was acting colicky. She rolled and groaned and did not look comfortable. It was heartbreaking. They gave her a round of drugs to make her more comfortable, and they gave her visible relief. Then after they wore off she seemed ok. I groomed her for a couple of hours, and she definetly seemed to enjoy that. Every time I stopped she would take a step closer so I would continue.

This morning I went back and she seemed more comfortable, but she is back on all the pain killing drugs and back on the IV. The vet wants to do more surgery to see if he can find out what is wrong, but I do not want to put her through any more torture than she has already been through. I wish someone would tell me what the best thing to do for her is.

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Day four after surgery

I think I have been home for about 10 hours total, including sleep for the past 5 days. Of course, all of this has happened during the busy time at work, quarter end, so no chance for any time off there. And I still need to get Mazzy out the days my trainer doesn't ride her, so no break there, but I am still managing to make it out to the equine hospital each night, driving 125 miles a day to get it all done.

The reflux stopped, so Kylie was able to graze a little yesterday. I'm talking on grass as long as astroturf, so a very little. It went through but she has diarreah. I guess its good that at least it made it through. However, she was moved to the isolation barn because of risk of Salmonellosis. During a colic episode, your horse's immune system may become compromised and any bacteria or organism they carry in thier gut can no longer be controlled. The salmonella bacterium, in particular, which all horses carry, can flourish and cause severe diarrhea. Not sure if that is what is going on here, but if so, they don't want it to get any of the other horses to get sick.

She's looking brighter everyday. After I grazed her for a few minutes and took her for a walk, we went over to her new home in the isolation barn. I picked her out a stall that had a window so she could watch the baseball game. She was mezmorized. Her face was glued up against the window watching every play. She forgot I was there. I'm glad she has something to keep her busy.

Watching Baseball

Her view

After the first 72 hours, other long-term complications can set in. Scar tissue formation, adhesions and intestinal constriction may decrease the motility of the intestines and cause more colics. Persistent diarrhea from salmonella infections, microflora imbalance or inflammation of the lining of the colon, is a possibility. Horses may become hard keepers and require additional supplements to maintain. Hernias or infections along the incision line on the belly are also possible.

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Post Colic Surgery

Thank you everyone for you concern and kind wishes!!!

The first couple of days after surgery Kylie was really painful. They keep her on drugs to make her as comfortable as possible. She is monitored frequently and I get out to see her daily and get calls from the vet with updates. She spiked a fever Saturday night (about 24 hrs after surgery), but they managed it and were able to get it back down.

On Sunday and Monday, Kylie had gastric reflux pooling in her stomach. She had to be refluxed every 4 hours or so (obtaining stomach contents via a tube, threaded down through the nasal passage). It means slow motility of her system, which is not totally unexpected, but things better start moving along soon. I was there Monday night when they refluxed her and the girl commented on what a great patient she has been. Most horses need a lip chain in order for them to get the tube down thier nose, alot of horses need sedation, but Kylie just stands there and lets them do it. They told me one horse wouldn't let them do it no matter how heavily sedated he was, and he died. After they felt like they got most of it they took her in for an ultrasound, because they said she "hides" it. Hehe. It must take alot of training to read an ultrasound, because as much as they explained what we were looking at it just looked like a blur to me. No food or water yet until the reflux stops.

She still has to wear a muzzle, but she has figured out how to go in the corners of the stall where the straw sticks straight up and finds a piece to stick through the muzzle and eats it! I went and got one of the interns and alerted them to my tricky eater and they said if she tries that hard to get a piece she has earned it :-). My heart breaks when she paws at the straw and then puts her head down to eat and you can hear her lips flapping in the muzzle trying to get it.

I got to take her for a walk Monday night. It was nice to get her some fresh air and not have to breathe in the stench of DMSO. I smell it even when I am not with her. She was alert and more comfortable. There is a baseball field behind the hospital facility and she was very interested in the all the bright lights a screams coming from over there. She whinnied to them a few times cheering them on.

Every hour counts for the next five days. I hope she sticks to the vet's plan for survival.

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Colic continued

Well the good news is Kylie made it through surgery. BUT she has a long, winding, very difficult road ahead of her. She got up after an hour, which the doc said was pretty normal after being in surgery for so long. He removed 95% of her colon (large intestine), which they can live without if they survive all the potential complications from surgery. I feel so awful seeing Kylie this way. Her eyes are swollen from being on her back for so long during surgery. She is still out of it, and has IVs hanging from the ceiling attached to her, huge bandages around her belly, she has a Hannible Lechter leather muzzle on so she doesn't eat her staw bedding, and she stinks almost unbearably of DMSO (smells like rotting garlic and onion). It is overwhelming to see her like this. Just a day ago I was riding and jumping her happy and free. The vet told me that heart rate (HR) at 24 hours after surgery was significantly associated with survival. Thankfully, Kylie's is in the range for survival.

The term "colic" means only "pain in the abdomen" or "pain in the belly". There are many causes for such pain, ranging from the mild and inconsequential to the life-threatening or fatal. One of the problems with equine colic is that it can be very difficult in the early stages to distinguish the mild from the potentially fatal. This is why all cases of abdominal pain should be taken seriously right from the onset. Some horses are so painful on presentation at the hospital that there is no question surgery is needed, this was our case.

Kylie had the most severe form of colic - a twisted bowel, these types of colic cause a total blockage of the intestine and require immediate surgery if the horse is to survive. Not only is gas and food material trapped inside the twisted gut, but blood supply is cut off, causing damage or death to the intestine. As the gut dies, toxins are released into the body, causing severe illness or even death. For some horses, pain medication helps keep them quiet for approximately an hour. But some horses are so painful that the drugs seem to help very little. Horses can die from this type of colic within a few hours. So thankfully my friend noticed there was a problem!!! The cause for this type of colic is poorly understood, so I have no idea why this happened to her.



The large intestine fills a significant part of the abdomen. The total length of the large intestine is about 25 feet, but it holds approximately 30 gallons of material - twice as much as the small intestine. Surprisingly, this large unwieldy structure is tethered to the body wall at only two points: at its beginning (where it joins the small intestine and caecum) and at its end (where it joins the short, narrow small colon which leads to the anus). With only two immobile points, the large intestine lies in the abdomen in a neatly-arranged double-U formation, one "U" stacked on top of the other. This arrangement entails the food making it round a number of 180 bends (known as "flexures") in the intestine. In addition to these problems the only thing that holds the colon in place is bulk. So a hungry horse without access to forage and an empty colon is a prime candidate for a twisted gut.

So many challenges lie ahead...

The first 72 hours after surgery are the most critical. This is when the intestines are trying to reorganize themselves from being manipulated, cut open, et cetera. As a result the intestines sometimes stop moving, which is very painful for the horse. Also, if the circulation to the intestines was cut off for too long, the lining of the intestines sometimes reacts by becoming inflamed, or dies, resulting in severe diarrhea. If the horse had intestine cut out, the site of reattachment may fail, causing either another blockage or rupture at the site. After surgery the horse’s immune system is compromised from stress, and infection is a concern. Laminitis, may also occur.

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Horse Show

I don't show Kylie too much anymore, just a few times a year, but decided to at the last minute this weekend. I woke up super early to go pick her up and get her to the show and into the ring before the show started. Luckily she got right in the trailer, since I was the only one there to load her, and it was pitch black out. We got to the show and she was so relaxed and happy. She warmed up perfectly. My first equitation class was pretty good, she was forward and relaxed, all my distances were good, but I added a little leg in the line (just to make sure) when I should have just sat still and she swapped leads coming out over the oxer. I was happy with that round. In second round, she was great, but I had one fence I would rather forget. Stupid mistake, again if I had just sat still and stayed out of her way, Kylie would have made a better decision than me. I won the flat eq, and ended up reserve champion of the equitation division. The last class was a medal class. I laid down an awesome round, nailed ever jump and felt great. I was called back on top for the work off and not sure what the judge didn't like about my work off, but moved down to third. My trainer said I should have won (and the girl who moved up from 4th to 1st was also her student). Who knows? It didn't really matter to me because thankfully, I wasn't trying to qualify and I didn't need the points, but I'm sure I would have felt differently if I was trying to qualify and needed to win to get the points. I was just super happy at how good Kylie was after not showing for so long. Fun day!

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Out for a walk

Mazzy visiting her friend Charles.

Checking out the sights.

Mazzy is on light duty, only hand walking, so Kylie has been getting my full riding time every night. Despite the 100 degree weather, and the consistent riding every night, Kylie was a lunatic last night. By the time I got out to ride her is was cooler (maybe 80's), and she was raring and ready to go. I'm hoping for a mellow Kylie tonight.

I sometimes wonder if horses are susceptible to mental disorders. Heck, enough people are, why not horses? I would say Kylie could be Schizophrenic. Most days she is a joy, but some days not so much. She is frantic for who knows what reason. I have owned her since she was first broke, so there are no weird incidences that I know of to make her wacky. I honestly think she either hallucinates, is paranoid, or hears voices (other than mine). It has developed over time, I think. I do not remember these episodes in her youth. Luckily it is not all the time and I'm not quite sure, even after over 10 years, what sets it off. I think she just wakes up like that. It is not due to time off, because I have given her weeks off and she comes out quiet as a church mouse, and sometimes she will be good for weeks at a time being worked daily and I change nothing then one day...crazy! Luckily she is never dangerous, just hyper sensitive to everything (except me). But then the next day, she is completely normal, quiet calm and perfect. According to Wikipedia, "Diagnosis is based on the patient's self-reported experiences and observed behavior. No laboratory test for schizophrenia currently exists." So I guess there is no way to diagnose this in horses. My trainer and I have discussed this many times, but we have decided Kylie is just Kylie, and we have come to accept her quirkiness. Luckily there are some good days are some really good days that make me accept the willy nilly days.

I just thought of the one thing that does send her into panic mode....the pickup truck with the wood bed. It somewhat resembles the truck that comes to pick up the horses after they are put to sleep, so I can understand her panic. When she sees this truck (which belongs to the barn owner's son-in-law so it is always on the property somewhere) she completely checks out. There is no talking her off the ledge at this point, our ride is OVER. I try to avoid it and for the most part we do, but occasionally it will drive past the ring while I am riding and Kylie goes into "frantic panic" mode. She shakes with fear. Poor girl! I have tried showing her that it will not hurt her, but in reality no matter how much someone showed me their pet snake would not hurt me I would want nothing to do with it! I couldn't get far enough away. Don't they all have such unique personalities?

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Mazzy wins her first blue!

Yesterday started out a little rough with Mazzy not wanting to get on the trailer. I've trailered her a bunch of times before with no problems, but never in the dark. Luckily the grooms showed up to help me, but I ended up getting to the show later than I had planned. Luckily, it all ended up working out in the end. Mazzy won her very first class, Pre Green Under Saddle. Yeah! That made my day! It was very windy with 40 mile an hour wind gusts, so things were blowing around, jumps were blowing down and a garbage can blew over and rolled into the ring during her class and she didn't even spook at it. I also brought Kylie and showed her in the Equitation division and ended up Champion. Overall she behaved well for not showing in a while. Her stride was big so the lines rode easy, and her jump was solid. Today my face is pretty chapped from all that wind. I always give the horses time off after a horse show, so today I cleaned out the trailer, cleaned all my tack and put everything away. I was way too tired to do anything but put the horses away last night. I did ride Mazzy around bareback today so she could stretch her legs. Kylie just got a turnout so she could enjoy the sunshine and roll around in the dirt. Since I am back to work I will only be seeing the horses in the evenings now :-(. Bummer.

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Kylie & Mazzy enjoying the sun

The last couple of days have been BEAUTIFUL! Sunny, clear...short sleeve weather!


This giant white bird (egret?) is a resident at the barn. The horses don't particularly like him, especially as he glides around with his six foot wing span. I'm not sure if he is looking for a mate, but lately he has been alot closer then normal. Usually he stays around the outskirts, but yesterday he was in the middle of the ring while I was been riding, and a few days ago he was walking in between the turnouts while horses we out. There was lots of snorting.

Both girls got baths.


Mazzy playing

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Horse Dentist

The horses had a visit from the horse dentist today.
Horses' teeth grow continuously until some time between the ages of 25 and 30. Horses in heavy work or horses that are stabled and fed concentrates will need more regular examination as this can cause them to chew differently affecting the way the teeth wear. Raised edges may appear along the edges of the molars; typically along the outside of the upper set and the inside of the lower set. When these "unground surfaces" get large the horse cannot rock his lower jaw laterally as he chews due to his teeth being locked between the opposing ridges. Thus the problem self propagates, the ridges slowly appear larger as they are no longer being worn down, and as the horse rubs these ridges when chewing, he's actually wearing down the sides of these ridges into sharp points. The frequency of floating a horse is variable and is related to the individual horse. I get mine done about twice a year.


Horses generally shed caps 2 1/2 to 5 1/2 years of age. Caps are baby teeth. Some shed them on their own, some need to be removed to allow the permanent teeth to come in easier. Between Horses erupt 44 permanent teeth and shed 24 baby teeth or "caps." You can greatly increase your horse's comfort and promote future good dental health by having the equine dentist pull adhering "caps" at the right time because sometimes the cap loosens and does not come off OR a cap breaks off leaving a hard piece located between the permanent tooth and the gum. Mazzy had to have two of her caps removed:

Kylie's teeth weren't in too bad of shape since they were just floated about 5 months ago. The dentist removed sharp edges and small hooks and ramps from the cheek teeth.

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Mazzy's progress & Kylie's hives

It is always something with horses isn't is?


Mazzy's football sized hematoma that required two vet visits (and no treatment) is gone. Still no explaination of what caused it, but at least it is gone. She is finally getting back into a productive work schedule now that my trainer is back from the busy year end showing schedule and all of the awards banquets and holidays are behind us. It is really nice to get on Mazzy after my trainer and feel a HUGE improvement. I guess if I didn't I wouldn't need the the help! Some days her trot is rhythmic and it feels fantastic. She is getting the hang of bending and softening and when she relaxes her neck and back it feels great! Her transitions are improving. Her canter is also coming along. I'm starting to be able to regulate it, a little bit, but it still feels disorganized and strung out. I am sure it will be years before she feels connected. I wish I kept a journal of Kylie's progression as a baby to compare. I do have alot of videos of her training which I am going to dig out one of these days.



"Your horse is telling you there's something wrong; the problem is, it's in Braille." Poor Kylie has hives, referred to as urticaria. Inflammation induced by allergens causes small veins to dilate and increase capillary permeability in the skin. “Fluid” leaks into surrounding tissues to form wheals or plaques of edema (fluid swelling). Hunting down the cause of hives is often a challenge. Because hypersensitivity reactions take weeks to months or even years to develop, a sudden onset of hives is not necessarily a result of a recent change; this makes it difficult to pin down the actual source of the problem. I did what I could to eliminate anything that could be causing it anyway. I dug out her stall just in case there was lurking bacteria (which I am sure there was plenty of) that was irritating her. I took her off all of her goodies (supplements) so she is just getting hay and beet pulp....blah. Washed all her clothes and pads, scrubbed her boots, cleaned my tack (which I should be doing anyways). The causes are limitless as I read in an article on thehorse.com:

Many different medications, such as antibiotics, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), or topical agents can be the culprit. Other causes range from a rapid change in temperature, stress, or an autoimmune disease. Santoro also noted that allergies can play a role as well; "a horse could be having an allergic reaction to food, flies, mosquitoes, or something in its environment." Of course, just as in humans, horses can have a seasonal reaction to pollen or molds.

This has been going on for a few weeks now. They have gotten so bad that I have had to give her Dexamethzone, because I am concerned about her airway closing up. Thankfully, the Dex clears them right up.....only to return again a few days later. Argh! She doesn't appear itchy or bothered by them which is good. The only other suspicious factor is that she is not the only horse at the barn who has developed them lately so it could be something in the hay. I have my fingers crossed that there are no hives left on her tonight, that will be four days hive free.

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Mazzy & Kylie

"When a horse greets you with a nicker and regards you with a large and liquid eye, the question of where you want to be has been answered." - Anonymous





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Kylie gets body clipped

Since winter-coat growth is governed by daylight and not temperature, horses will still grow a thicker coat when the days get shorter even if it is one hundred degrees out. I tried explaining this to Kylie, but she grew a thick woolly coat anyway. Her coat grew so thick already she was ready for a snowstorm. This will be the first of several body clips this winter. Luckily Mazzy's coat is still short and slick. She must have listened to my lecture, but I am sure the fur is coming soon.


Reasons for clipping: People clip their horses' coats to make them more comfortable when in work as it helps to stop them from overheating. Horses dry off much quicker without a long coat to trap the sweat. It is way easier to keep a short coat clean. Their skin will stay cleaner and healthier. They won't take long to groom so you'll have more time in the saddle. They'll be happier working for you, especially on warmer days. Plus, a heavy coat looks unkempt. When I first moved to CA from the east coast I thought the whole clipping blanketing regimens of southern California was bizarre. I was amazed that the horses grew the same fluffy coat that horses in much colder climates get even though it does not get nearly as cold. Sixty is cold here. Also, horses get both sheets and blankets at night in the "winter" when it is cold. I guess they get acclimated to what is cold for the area?


Tips: have your clippers professionally sharpened before every body clip. Sharp clippers cut down on clipper tracks and help prevent the dreaded "corduroy horse." Another trick to a nice clip job is to give your horse a bath before and they spray with Show Sheen which makes the clippers glide through the hair. Dirt inside his coat will catch in the clipper teeth and cause the blades to drag and cut unevenly. Also, the dirt will dull the clippers more quickly, possibly requiring you to interrupt the job to sharpen your blades. Wet hair will also dull the blades as well as be close to impossible to clip.

Kylie is very well behaved and used to being body clipped. She stands perfectly patient, and probably likes the attention. She likes anything that makes her look prettier. I love the way a freshly clipped horse feels. Luckily grey horses coats don't turn funky colors after being clipped. Some chestnuts turn a horrible shade of orange. After she gets clipped her coat is so shiny and slick!

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